A Serious Blog Entry (I think it may be the only one!)

I know this is very uncommon for me, but for some reason I've had a "nagging" on my soul (if you can call it that) to share this on my blog. I don't know why, and I don't know what purpose it will serve, but I truly feel God is asking me to share it, so I will.

Some of you may not know this, but July 16, 2001 was, to date, the saddest day of my life. I hadn't even been married a year yet, and was living in Chicago. On my way home from work, I received a call from my mom that my dad had suddenly died. No warning, no goodbyes, he was gone. For several months after, I struggled with why this happened and I could feel my heart become bitter. My dad was a great man, a strong Christian, and was in good health. I couldn't understand why he had to be taken and not some mean, horrible person.

For those of you who did not know him, my dad was a computer geek. No really...he actually built a computer back in the late 70's FROM SCRATCH (did I mention he was also a genius??). So, it really shouldn't have come to my surprise that he reached out to me, after his death, through his computer. Yes, it may sound corny, but several months after he died, my mom was cleaning up his computer files and found a letter he had began composing and it was addressed to me. It wasn't finished yet, but it was the miracle I needed and was the best blessing that could have ever happened to me. Here it is:

Dear Jennifer,

For some time now I have often wished to set down some of my beliefs in hopes that if something should ever happen to me I would at least made the effort to communicate them with you. So I start now to set them down, perhaps more for my own peace of mind and satisfaction than for what you may gain for I find myself that often the beliefs and values of others are difficult to apply to myself and I often have to learn on my own.

Evidence of God

It often seems to me that the best evidence of God is to see the stars at night and to think of the vastness of the universe. And yet we cannot explain where one atom of the universe comes from for we reason from one thing to another. At some point in time somehow that atom must have come to exist where there was nothing before. Thus it seems to me that there are some things which are beyond our reasoning which points to a higher being.

Accepting God's Will and Purpose for us

We once studied a book called "And I Will Praise Him" in Sunday school. It was basically a study of the Psalms which all wind up praising God. Two things in this book really impressed me. One was that God made us for the purpose of praising Him. When you stop and think about it what else could God want from us? Will any material thing that we gain impress a God who made and controls the Universe? Will any knowledge that we gain impress a God who knows how all things were created and how all things will end, who is unchanging - the alpha and the omega?

The second thing in the book that really impressed me was how the author applied the continued attitude of praise towards a tragic situation in his life. He and his wife found out that their 21 month old daughter had leaukemia. Of course they felt great grief in this, but they determined to not let the attitude of grief last. lest their joy in God would be replaced by bitterness. They determined not to live in the "Why, Lord?" syndrome. They decided to ask instead "What now, Lord?" and to praise God whatever would be the course of His present action. The God whom they had trusted in the past was still worthy of our trust. Whom else was there to trust? They knew that should she die, God in His great mercy would take her to be with the Lord Jesus in heaven. There disease would never again tear out her joy. When they wept, it was for themselves at the temporary loss until they would see her again.

This is the attitude we should take when what we consider tragedy, but what must also be used for good by God, happens .

DId you catch that last bit?? I know when I first read it, I sure did! This letter was the sole reason I stopped being bitter about my dads death and tried to find God's purpose in everything that happened to me, good or bad.

Let us all use this letter as a reminder that God desires for us to worship him...IT WAS WHY WE WERE CREATED. He is there with us ALWAYS; In birth AND in death, in happiness AND sad. If you put your trust in Him, he will provide you the vision to see the good, even at the most challenging of times. What better time than Easter to make it your mission to make your daily lives ones of worship to Him, the maker and creator of everything. I promise you, if you do, you will truly be blessed.

Until next blog,
Jen